


through the looking glass

by seijuro



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: 70 Themes Challenge, Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-08 02:23:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3191741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seijuro/pseuds/seijuro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You <em>will</em> be here, right?” Akashi said, looking him straight in the eye.</p><p>Nijimura ruffled his hair and stood up, pushing the chair behind him. He smelled of coastlines, and if Akashi squinted, he could remember Nijimura's hand stilling for a moment before he shoved it into his pocket. “Stop thinking about it,” Nijimura said, and told the first outright lie: “Of course I will be.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. presence

**Author's Note:**

> [70 themes challenge!](http://amorine.deviantart.com/art/70-Writing-Prompts-277297961) i'll try to write one a day, but i wouldn't expect daily updates (especially considering school. why).
> 
> lengths will vary!

**lxvi. presence**  
 _(canon divergence; takes place during teikou)_

* * *

It was late enough for the sun to be low, but too early for it to be gone. Nijimura was still at his desk, a pencil left in his hand. Akashi wasn’t exactly an expert, but he’d seen enough examination rooms to spot someone who was stuck.

“I know you’re in here,” Nijimura said, voice low and a little grumpy. He stretched and yawned before slumping back on the desk, eyebrows drawn together. His lower lip was already jutting out by the time Akashi closed the door behind him. “You’ve got more presence than you think, you know.”

“So this is why you missed practice? Everyone was worried.” Akashi asked, skillfully ignoring the second part of Nijimura’s sentence. Taking a few steps closer, he looked down at the blank paper.  _Well, as expected of Nijimura. Not everyone’s a genius off the court._  “What is this? An exam?”

To his surprise, Nijimura only laughed, but it was the kind of barking sound Akashi knew he had to force out. The avoided questions didn’t go unnoticed. “Naw. If it was that easy, I would have been done.”

Akashi sat next to him. “I was under the impression your grades left quite a bit to be desired.”

Nijimura only snorted, flicking his forehead. His hands were always warm. “I get by, don’t I?”

It was different-- _strange_ \--to see someone who didn’t  _need_  to prove anything. He wondered how it felt to breathe. “I see,” Akashi said. His chest twisted into something messy. “What are you struggling with, then?”

There was a sudden  _thump_  and Nijimura dropped his head onto the desk, letting out a stringy groan. “It’s some stupid…” Pausing, he sat up. “I dunno. Some stupid resolution thing. What’s the point?” Upon seeing the look on Akashi’s face, Nijimura grinned, but beneath it Akashi could see dark under his eyes. He said nothing. “Don’t worry, you’ll do it next year. You’re not off the hook just yet.”

“Forgive me, Nijimura,” Akashi said, “but I don’t see why you’re struggling so much with it.”

Nijimura raised a brow. “Oh? Why’s that?”

“You told me yourself,” Akashi told him, face set in firm lines. “The last time you went to practice. You told us we’ll go on to win the championships this year, and next year. Under your captainship.” He added an eye-roll to the last part, but it was fond.

Nijimura laughed again, and though it wasn’t the dog laughter, it was wrong. “Shit. That’s right. I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Yes. What’s wrong with writing that? I’m sure they’re not expecting some profound vision for the future, anyway.”

“It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” Nijimura always had a habit of being a little blunt, and Akashi had never known him to be a secretive guy.

Nijimura waved him off, though complying.“Geez, geez. Little _punk_  over here telling me what to do.” Pleased, Akashi watched him write.

“You _will_  be here, right?” Akashi said, looking him straight in the eye.

Nijimura ruffled his hair and stood up, pushing the chair behind him. He smelled of coastlines, and if Akashi squinted, he could remember Nijimura's hand stilling for a moment before he shoved it into his pocket. “Stop thinking about it,” Nijimura said, and told the first outright lie: “Of course I will be.”


	2. rumour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright.” Akashi stood up, shoes and school uniform on. (Nijimura was wondering why he looked a little taller.) “There are a few rumours that we are... involved.”

**xxxviii. rumour**  
( _canon divergence; takes place during teikou)_

* * *

 

“There’s a rumour,” Akashi said to him one day. Nijimura studied him for a hint of what it would be about, but found none. If the rumour was a) important or b) enough to bother Akashi, he would have been able to tell. Probably.

“There are a lot of rumours,” Nijimura said, pulling his shirt on. The locker room was bizarrely empty. Either the rest of the troublesome little shits had finished before them (and that was definitely a first), or they hadn’t even entered the locker room yet, much less started changing (a more likely occurrence). “What’s so special about this one?” He looked over to Akashi. “You done changing, yet?”

“Soon. And it’s not special. Just interesting.” Akashi knelt down and started pulling his shoes on. “Though, I do wonder where it came from.”

 _Jesus._ For someone so quick and deadly on the court, Akashi was surprisingly slow. But Akashi’s answer told him everything he needed to know. _Interesting_ meant special.  _Interesting_ meant trouble.

“Tell me about this rumour, then.”

“Alright.” Akashi stood up, shoes and school uniform on. (Nijimura was wondering why he looked a little taller.) “There are a few rumours that we are... involved.”

Well. “We are, aren’t we? Everyone on the team is involved--you can’t just spend that much time playing a sport with someone and not become friends with them.”

The look Akashi gave him was equal parts frightening and endearing. “Nijimura. There are rumours that we’re _dating._ ”

 _Well._ “Oh,” Nijimura said, scratching at his neck. _Wasn’t this awkward._ He was sure there were more...colourful rumours going around the school, especially surrounding the entire team. So what was so relevant about this one? He turned back to Akashi, who had conveniently broken eye contact. “So what?”

Akashi was busying himself with staring at the floor tiles. “So…”

Somehow, it was easier to notice when it was just the two of them. Akashi wasn’t weak (someone who was “weak” wouldn’t be able to command the court so goddamned easily), and Nijimura knew that beneath his expensive clothing there was nothing but solid muscle and a will of steel, but he was deceptively small. “So what?”

He looked up at last. “They seem to wholeheartedly believe these rumours.”

“You’re being silly. That doesn’t make them true.”

The silence was short enough for Nijimura to breathe and long enough for him to notice something dark. Akashi, blinking twice, picked up his bag and began walking to the door. “I suppose you’re right.”

He was just about to leave when Nijimura grabbed his arm gently. “What if they were true?” He was treading on thin ice, but he had nothing to lose. The worst that could happen was he would fall under, and something told Nijimura it was already too late for that. “Would you mind?” He let go of Akashi’s arm. There was a static moment without breath or words.

“No,” Akashi said after the silence. “I wouldn’t.”


	3. heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People died. It was just something you learned as you got older, like sunflowers weren’t actually made of sun and forever wasn’t very long at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just realized i havent been posting contact info like i usually do so i guess i'll do it here.. also, my apologies for the delay! my schoolwork took a lot of time orz'
> 
> also... take the ending however you please :^)
> 
> tumblr: akise (kujouhinako is my writing blog!)  
> twitter: arainaizevran

**xxi. heartbeat**  
( _canon divergence, takes place a few years after high school.)_

* * *

 

She’d slipped through his fingers. Akashi was ten by the time his mother was bedridden, and it was  _weird_ to see someone who was once so proud be reduced to _that_. In more than one way, he supposed his mother was like light. He wasn’t able to catch her. It was cruel to watch her fade right in front of him, and it was even crueler that he couldn’t do anything about it.

Akashi remembered The Waiting, the times he’d spent after school sitting in that dark room in front of a woman who couldn’t even see him. Akashi wasn’t stupid or naive; he didn’t believe that she “felt” his presence or whatever bullshit they wrote about in novels. His mother was dying. His mother was dead.

For the first few days he tried talking to her, but after that, he was tired of making up responses she never gave. He wanted to punch whoever said death was gentle. He wanted to hurt whoever said it was like sleep. There was nothing gentle or sleepy in the way his mother died. She was there, and then some of her was, and then all of her was gone until there was nothing but a breathing carcass left behind. Akashi couldn’t even look at her anymore. (At least, then, there was something mutual between them). People died. It was just something you learned as you got older, like sunflowers weren’t actually made of sun and forever wasn’t very long at all.

But it never got any easier. He entered the hospital when it was too early to be night and too late to be morning. “Hey,” Akashi said, sitting next to Nijimura. The chair was stiff and the hours he’d spent sitting in it made his back hurt.

Nijimura cracked an eye open. “Hey, captain.” He saw the look on Akashi’s face and grinned.

“I should be saying that to you.”

Nijimura struggled to sit up, breathing out when he finally made it. He was too proud to admit it, to admit anything--something Akashi had learned from their middle school days--but he was beginning to struggle to do even the easiest things. Akashi hated seeing him like that. Akashi hated seeing what was left. “I’m not your captain anymore, you know?”

“And I yours,” Akashi pointed out. “We haven’t been in middle school for a while.”

Nijimura laughed, and whatever was in his chest and eating away at his heart made it sound pained. “Yeah, fair enough.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Nijimura shrugged. “Good enough, I guess.” He shook his arms. “I don’t like the machine, though. It makes too much noise and then before I know it, I can’t fall asleep.” Looking Akashi in the eye, he grinned again. “Makes me feel weak, too.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re doing well.”

“You, too.” Nijimura glanced at him. He’d always been able to look right through Akashi. “I really do appreciate you coming to visit me, but don’t neglect your company. No business meetings?”

“None.” He lied through his teeth.

The look Nijimura gave him was one of mild disappointment. “Take care of that company.”

“A company I never asked for,” Akashi snapped.

The silence felt heavier with the machine in the background. He stared at the white walls, the white sheets; the white curtains and the black outside.

“Your father left it for you,” Nijimura said after it passed.

Akashi sighed. There was no way Nijimura would understand. He didn’t expect him to. “I’ll try,” Akashi said, being careful to make no promises.

Nijimura closed his eyes, grin still in place. “Good.”

The last time Akashi had seen someone in a hospital bed close their eyes, they’d never opened them again. “Do you like the hospital food?”

Soft silence. “Eh.”

“I’ll bring you some food next time.” He was beginning to talk faster, now, too many words cramped into too many sentences cramped into too little time. Headache. “Do you want American food?”

A longer moment without, and then a short one of strained laughter. “Yeah. Get me a big burger, will you? Maybe some fries on the side, too.”

“Yes,” Akashi said. “And then when you’re out of here, I’ll take you to America. On a business trip, or something. Then you’ll have real American food.”

Nijimura opened his eyes, only to close them again. “When you put it like that, I miss it.”

The silence took over for him again. Turning to look to the windows, Akashi saw a sliver of light slipping past the curtain.

“Maybe afterwards,” Akashi said, looking at his hands, “I’ll play one-on-one with you. I’ve improved a lot.”

“I’m sure.”

He could hear people from inside the hospital walls now. The light moved quicker. He wanted it to leave.

“I’ll introduce you to my teammates, too,” Akashi was saying. There was more light, spreading into the room faster than he could stop it. “I think they would like you. I think you would like them.”

“They look like interesting people. That Mibuchi guy really likes you. Take care of him, too, yeah?”

“I will.” He felt ten again, trying to catch light in his hands. It always fell through. “See you later, then?”

Nijimura didn’t answer.


	4. guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you steal that rose?” Akashi said, already knowing the answer.
> 
> “Yeah.” He cracked another grin. “Like it?”
> 
> “You could be killed for that.”
> 
> “Thanks for caring,” said the boy, “but there’s a lot I’ve done that warrants my head on a platter and, well, I’m still here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umm well... i dont have any excuses for my delay in updating this time but my own laziness, so as an apology, have a longer update!
> 
> i swear i had a concrete sense of direction when i wrote this one, but it ended up going all over the place. in all honesty this is just self-indulgence so...!

**xxviii: guest**  
( _royalty au._ )

* * *

When his father told him they were having guests, Akashi hardly paid it any attention. His father had brought “guests” over before, and by “guests”, he meant well-off princesses from faraway kingdoms who had wealth and alliances to offer if he’d only just marry them. Akashi was used to guests, was used to doing whatever he had to for the good of his country (his father), but each time it seemed to get harder. He still struggled with coming to terms that he wasn’t a baby anymore, that his mother wasn’t (alive/queen) anymore, that it was time to grow out of his child-clothes and grow into the crown. Akashi was barely 16 years old, but the weight of a kingdom made him feel older.

And there they were, in his father’s hall, discussing alliance upon alliance upon alliance. Akashi picked at his food, more interested in how he was going to ‘excuse’ himself to his quarters than what a bunch of nobles had to say.

“--isn’t that right, Seijuurou?” His father gave him a look that he’d learned to respond to with a nod and a quiet, _yes, Father_. He played his part. He was good at it. It wasn’t enough.

“He’s a responsible boy,” his father said, leaning towards the other king. “Seijuurou will do this country well.”

Akashi knew ‘responsible’ meant quiet. Akashi knew ‘responsible’ meant obedient. There’d come a day when he’d be seated on his father’s throne, and that was more frightening than anything else.

For the first time that night, Akashi looked to the girl his father’s ‘guest’ had brought over. She smiled at the right things, gave the right opinion, and did what she needed when her father wanted. Her dress was laced up so tight it began to look like a cage, and Akashi wondered if she could breathe in it. He supposed, in the game they were taught to play, it didn’t matter. Akashi hadn’t ever stepped foot in a battle field, but he likened it to his father’s hall.

They’d spent half an hour negotiating when the other king called one of the serving boys in. He was tall and slim, with black hair and black eyes. Akashi guessed the boy was a few years older than he was, and the sleeves he’d rolled up exposed dark forearms. For a second, he thought the boy was looking at him, but he was gone so quickly Akashi doubted it happened at all.

“Excuse me,” Akashi said, and left.

*****

Akashi found the serving boy sitting at the top of the stairs, and he stood up upon seeing him.“Hey,” said the boy.

Akashi stared. “I thought the serving boys were supposed to be in the servants’ quarters.”

Shrugging, the boy answered, “They are.” He started walking down the stairs, and it was only when he stopped in front of Akashi that he realized he had a good (at least) four inches on him. “Nobody’s said anything yet, so I’m guessing it’s okay. Maybe.” The boy pointed in the general direction of the hall. “‘Sides, they’re too busy in there.”

“ _I_ said something.”

The boy took a good, long look at him, and Akashi caught a glimpse of a flower in his hands. He recognized it as one of his father’s beloved roses. “If you really wanted me to leave, you would have told ‘em until telling me off yourself.” He twisted the roses in his hands. He had an odd stare, Akashi noticed. It made him feel open. It made him feel weak.

“How do you know I won’t do that yet?”

“Because,” the serving boy said, and grinned. “You would have done it already.”

Akashi wasn’t sure if he was angrier that the boy was right or that he had nothing to say. “Did you steal that rose?” he said, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.” He cracked another grin. “Like it?”

“You could be killed for that.”

“Thanks for caring,” said the boy, “but there’s a lot I’ve done that warrants my head on a platter and, well, I’m still here.”

He did it so quickly Akashi scarcely had time to blink or breathe. By the time he pulled away, the damage had already been done. “For you,” the boy said, and gestured to the rose behind his ear. “Maybe you can give it back to your father if he wants it so badly.”

*****

If there was anything he hated more than the dinners, it was the dances afterwards. The music was alright, but it sounded like a funeral call, and there were so many people it gave him a headache. He felt stupid and out of place, standing there in a stuffy suit. A few guests had already approached him asking for a dance, but he’d turned them down politely.

When he finally escaped to the balcony, the serving boy was there. “Tired of your party already?” His grin was in place, and though it could have been a trick of the light, Akashi swore it looked wolfish.

“Tired of serving the people there?” Akashi shot back.

“Honestly?” He turned around to face Akashi, scratching at his neck. “Haven’t even started serving ‘em yet, and I’m already tired. Guess we’re not too different.”

Akashi toyed with the buttons on the front of his suit. “Why are you talking to me?” he said at last.

The boy, leaning against the balcony railing, only raised a brow. It was the first time just words hadn’t gotten him exactly what he wanted, and something told him it wouldn’t be the last. “Is that wrong? Could I get executed for it?”

“Possibly.”

“You nobles aren’t any fun,” the serving boy said. Frowned. “I’m just trying to hold a friendly conversation here, you know?”

Akashi’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

“Doesn’t anybody talk to anybody without ulterior motives where you’re from?” He pushed himself off the railing, close enough for Akashi to smell. Smoke.

Akashi thought. “Not really.”

To his surprise, the serving boy laughed. “Didn’t think so. Anyway, I’m Nijimura.” Wiping his hand on his pants, he offered it to Akashi. “Nice to meet you.”

Against his better judgment and anything he’d ever been taught, Akashi took it. “Likewise. My name is Akashi.”

*****

Nijimura was in the kitchen with jeweled tableware in his hands and a mouth full of excuses. Akashi wouldn’t listen to a single one.

“You’re a thief,” Akashi said. When Nijimura stood up, Akashi noticed he hadn’t made any effort to put the tableware down. “Why is this not surprising?”

“I stole that rose. That’s what thieves do. Steal.” He grinned again, but it was a little meaner.

“So I’ve learned,” Akashi said, and nothing more.

“You’re not gonna turn me in yet?” Nijimura shoved the tableware into his pockets. “That’s going to get you killed, someday.”  
Akashi didn’t disagree. “Possibly.”  
“I have to get by, you know.”

“I understand,” Akashi said, doing nothing to stop him.

Nijimura gave him a long, hard look. “If you’re pitying me, you’re wasting your time.”

“I could say the same to you.”

He shook his head. “Pitying someone for being lonely is different from pitying them for being poor.”

Akashi took a step back and a step closer to the doorway. “You think I’m lonely?”

“You don’t?”

“Alone and lonely are two very different things, you know.”

“See, that’s the thing about you.” Nijimura took a step towards him and Akashi found himself taking another step back. “You’re not alone.”

Akashi wondered if this was what it was like to be taken apart, piece by piece. “Get out,” he said, voice low, “before my guards make you.”

“You’re not alone, but _damn_ , you sure act like you want to be.”

“I’m not going to ask again. _Get. Out_.”

For perhaps the first time since they’d met, Nijimura listened to him.

(For perhaps the first time since they’d met, Akashi wished he hadn’t.)

*****

They left by sunrise. Akashi watched them load themselves into the carriage, princess and king and serving boys all. Marriage talks were still abundant; it wouldn’t surprise Akashi if they returned at a later date.

He stood by the window, almost hidden by the curtains. They met eyes before Nijimura climbed into the carriage, but Akashi noticed he didn’t look back.

( _you’re not alone_ \--)

Akashi had checked back in the kitchen and noticed the tableware still gone. He hadn’t expected anything and said less. It was just tableware. His father would drop the subject in a few weeks if he ever picked it up to begin with.

( _but,_ damn, _you sure act like you want to be._ )

When he walked back to his bed, he pulled the sheets back to find a rose.

Akashi threw it out.


End file.
